Tag Archives: Thanksgiving

October 2005

Sunny Saturday – October 1, 2005 – 11:28 am
It’s beautiful outside!!! Which is handy, because Jessie is moving today, and Q is having a BBQ tonight. Yesterday it monsooned, and we’d all resigned ourselves to yet another rainy winter.

My Nephew
His name is Hollis Robert Babich. I think I’m spelling that correctly …? The “Hollis” part is Jared’s invention — I love having another “H” in the family. “Robert” is for my Dad, and “Babich” is Jared’s last name. Apparently everyone is healthy & doing well, except that Evy is really tired. Hollis is “suckling” (Jared’s word) and peeing and pooping “like a trooper” (Dad’s expression). I leave next Friday for Thanksgiving with my family!!!!

Atomic Vaudeville’s Gayest Show On Earth
I was nervous, because I don’t think there are many gay actors associated with AV and therefore it was like AV doing a “Black” themed show with its all-white cast. Lotsa potential for awkward moments.

However, it was wonderful. Spencer criticised the music playing before the show started, but the closing performance made up for it — a dance number with Cher, early Madonna, etc.

AV attendees included: Q, Cameron from Toronto, Spencer, Jessie & Karen, me, and John. (Liv was exhausted so went home to sleep instead.)

And I think I’ve pinpointed exacty what it is about John that makes me feel . . . uncomfortable?? I don’t really think he’s gay — he’s 36 and a man should know himself by then, and then the brown soes + black socks thing, and also I just don’t think he’s gay. HOWEVER, he emits “gay-vibes” which were apparent to my friends (who are/know ‘mos) and therefore I wasn’t just drunk/sleepy/paranoid the other night. And there’s nothing wrong with “gay-vibes.” It’s another way of saying sensitive, soft, considerate, affectionate, etc. But I am surrounded by “gay-vibes” A LOT, since I’m surrounded by gay people A LOT, and the last thing I want is to have this sort of . . . . frequency???? . . . in my bed. I need another flavour in my life. Something like Shawn (intelligent & tough), but also considerate.

Last night I had a dream where I was madly in love with this guy who was tall, yes, but who also was BIG (aka stocky) and had a huge smile. Most of my tall men are skinny — I think that’s because the stocky ones look older to me, and that makes me insecure (no more highschool confidence). But Tyler (my two-day fling in 2003) is tall & “filled-out,” and that was pretty great, for what it was.

Anyhoo, that’s what I’m thinking today.

Also, I’m considering running around the block, but it’s sunny and I’m not sure how hot it is outside — probably fine. And I’m thinking of my Sister & Hollis (like I have all week). And I’m wondering when Alive was due — I ought to watch that today.

#

Sullen Sunday – October 2, 2005 – 10:35 am
It’s grey out there. Ew.

So, for the record, I DID go for a run yesterday. I am AMAZING. I’ve been running my Xtreme route; I’m amazed that I am in good enough shape to do this without dying.

Q’s BBQ was wonderful. Being the Handy Carpenter’s Daughter that I am, I checked the BBQ for propane leaks and got it all ready to cook our steaks. Guests included Spencer, Brian, Jessica, and Jessie & Justin — it’s nifty to see how this group of people manage to get along so well with each other: Spencer and Jessica can bond and have a good talk, and then Spencer and I will gossip, and Jessica & Q & Brian will talk, and there aren’t any uncomfortable pairings or silences.

Brian’s a new addition — he’s a nurse, in his 30s I think. Q and I met him over Dim Sum last weekend. He owns a house and Q and him are “house-owning” friends — they talk about paint and hardwood flooring. A beautiful man, as always.

New Target o’ Love & “Stalking”
Spencer has a tall, straight & single client named Tim. We have worked out a plan of attack:

  1. Spencer sneakily manages to get his last name. (We have his home phone number, but it’s unlisted so that doesn’t help.)
  2. I find him on the gov’t directory (he works for gov’t) and manage to check him out by visiting a friend in the ministry.
  3. If I approve of Tim, we arrange to have some ridiculously hot photo of me at Spencer’s station when Tim has his next appointment (approx. 2 months from now).
  4. At the appointment, Spencer does the uber-cool hook-up negotiations.

This strategy manages to avoid pitfalls including: lack of professionalism on Spencer’s part, and my tendency to be frighteningly assertive.

Other Future Plans
Peter’s litterbox stinks, and the baby bunnies keep throwing the fresh hay out of their litterbox — both issues require clean litter. So I will have to track down some newspaper today.

When I’m gone for Thanksgiving holidays I’m going to put the baby bunnies in the kitchen. That way I won’t have to worry about attracting rats with the food & litter. I’ve done this before for fairly short absences, and I think it’s the best option. Pet-sitters are handy, but I might as well take advantage of my rabbits’ independent nature.

JESSIE & Q: “Our pets cuddle with us.”

HEATHER: “Oh yeah? Well, I can leave the bunnies alone for weeks at a time.”

Exercise & Self-Esteem
I heard somewhere that men who work out have greater-than-average self-esteem, but women who work out have less-than-average. I suspect that this might be true, because the best motivation I’ve found so far to go run is to be aware of my belly and its new squishiness. When I didn’t have a belly, I NEVER would have invested in running shoes or bothered to consider a running route. But after a morning of chugging orange pekoe & watching crapTV/movies on the couch, I become extremely aware of my . . . soft middle . . . and so I want to get rid of it, and so I run.

As always, though, my moods change — most times, I love my squishy tummy and I like to snuggle it when I sleep. I suppose it’s a good thing to experience periodic lowered self-esteem, because then I exercise.

Exercise is another socially-acceptable form of self-harm . . . funny, how there are so many mainstream masochists in our world.

#

Highlights of the Day – Monday, Oct.3/05 – 4:55 pm
I worked mad hours, from 6am to 3:45pm or so. It was busy, what with question period and et cetera. I love my job.

Also, on the walk home I saw:

  • a grown-up man (30-40 years old) “driving” a model car up the handrail to his front door;
  • the church sign:

CH CH
What’s missing?
UR

haha!

And I bought some smoked salmon to eat with swiss cheese & pickles. My usual “meals” are more like appetizer plates.

This morning I sent in my MFA application . . . if they accept me for the program, I have to apply to UBC’s graduate school. Scary.

It’s blue-skied outside but still chilly, which always confuses me. I want to loll about in my bikini on the lawn. Being inside on sunny days makes me feel guilty. I rented A Beautiful Mind, though, to keep me occupied — you might remember, I was reading this at one point. But big book + busy life + recent illiterate tendencies = I didn’t finish the book.

Funny, how I have a busy life even though I spend so much of it staring at a computer screen. Almost 10 straight hours of work (I worked through lunch today too) means almost 10 straight hours of computer stuff. Then I write a few emails and type on this thing. No wonder I’m getting chubby.

And there’s SO MUCH LESS STRESS in my life these days than there was at UVic. Holy Christ. People at work are getting . . . testy . . . about the crazy workload, and even though I’m running around (or sitting) doing 1,000 things at once it’s NOTHING like school, because once I (eventually) leave the office I can watch movies or CSI or do a Suduko puzzle or eat smoked salmon or run my Xtreme route or bond with you people in person/via the phone.

My Xtreme Route
. . . previously known as “running around the block.” This new term represents the PHYSICAL EFFORT that I exert doing this exercise. Q was mocking my “running around the block” because he thought I/the route was wimpy. But no, there are complicated switchbacks and et cetera and I almost DIE every time. Therefore: Xtreme route.

As for the Nephew
Hollis Robert Babich is a beautiful little fella. Mom sent me a video today of them playing dress-up with him. I woke up this morning to the INCREDIBLE realization that my little sister has created not only a PERSON, but a PERSON WITH A PENIS. How cool is that? I can’t wait to meet him. I hope he likes me.

#

This Morning – Tuesday, Oct.4/05
While walking to work I saw three raccoons gardening a neighbour’s lawn! Raccoons are so cool. Like superbig bunnies with Halloween makeup. I walked right among them — one climbed up a tree trunk, and its ass looked just like Caramel’s, except much much bigger.

#

My Clothes Fit Me – Wednesday, Oct.5/05 – a.m.
Yes, really, I can think of nothing else to say.

And it is worthy of a headline — My body did some crazy weight change things this year, with new boobs and curvy bits and backfat and this thrilling new tummy to fondle. I bought pants THAT FIT PROPERLY a few weekends ago and it’s still a pleasure putting them on and not feeling like I’m wearing a child’s clothing, with my gut hanging out over the waistband. Change amuses me.

Fun With Google
I’ve been entertaining myself lately by doing google searches for keywords from my life (e.g. “Non-romantic life partner”) and trying to find my site online. It’s getting easier, since I have archives up since January and that’s a lot of words. I was wondering the other day if I’ll continue this site after New Years, since this is a 2005 Resolution, and my focus in 2006 will be my Masters (if I get accepted to the program) and getting more writing published, plays produced, etc. I like that I’m writing every day, and I love experimenting with this Xtreme form of honesty & openness . . . advertising my backfat and stinky feet on the Worldwide Web breaks down a lot of personal boundaries. But we shall see.

In Other News
I’ve figured out that I sleep best when wearing a white “wife-beater” style tank top. I don’t know why.

#

A Beautiful Mind – Wednesday, Oct.5/05 – 7:50 pm
Since I’m illiterate these days, I never finished this biography of John Nash, the Schitzophrenic Mathematician Genius.

But the movie is freaking nifty.

I know that I’m supposed to identify with the intelligent, beautiful, devoted wife/mother/woman who endures her own hardship in order to stand by her man, but I’d rather be Nash, the ego-centric, self-involved genius.

And another thing — what’s with these movies that promote dealing with mental illness via willpower instead of medication and treatment? This is only one in a series — Garden State is another current favourite. Should I feel guilty for needing/taking prozac to be able to participate in this world? Or should I just “suck it up” and be strong and Deal With It, med-free and tormented? If SuperHero Nash can succeed work- and love-wise without meds, then shouldn’t we all? Fucker. This movie’s just like watching CSI: Miami or reading a Cosmo — it perpetuates unrealistic images that the viewer will DIE trying to imitate. Perfect boobs, living with hallucinations . . . it’s all the same crap.

#

List o’ Stuff To Do Before My Flight – Thursday, Oct.6/05
Downtown:
– pick up meds at pharmacy
– return A Beautiful Mind
– buy new litterboxes for Peter & co.

Rabbits:
– take out garbage & do dishes to clean kitchen
– prepare Seamus & Caramel’s Vacation Destination (aka my kitchen) with rug, litterboxes, lots of water, food, chew toys . . .
– relocate the bunnies
– set up Peter’s litterboxes, water, food
– give emergency key to Jessie

Me:
– pack
– figure out how to get to airport for tomorrow’s flight

See, I’m the low-maintenance member of my household. It’s the bunnies that require all the effort.

I am so excited about going home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#

Hollis + Heather = True Love 4Ever, Saturday, Oct.8/05 – 12:01 pm Mountain Time
Hollis loves me. I’m his favourite aunty. The first time I held him I thought I was going to break him. Second time, I was feeling pretty good until he made this crazy face, like he was the angriest, most unhappy baby in the world, and got all red and wrinkly and his mouth opened wide and I thought he was going to shriek “HEATHER IS HOLDING ME ALL WRONG, AND SHE KNOWS IT, AND THIS SUCKS.”

Apparently, he was just farting. Or pooping. Or something. And I suppose, thinking about it, that those first few farts/poops of your life must be pretty troubling. So now those are my favourite times to watch him, because he looks like he’s going to burst, and it’s all dramatic and freaky, and then suddenly he gets calm again and everything’s fine. Nice little metaphor for life.

Q is Hollis’s Godfather, and I presented Hollis with Baby’s First Pumas and Baby’s First Ralph Lauren pink polo shirt on Q’s behalf. This is going to be the most stylish baby in Canal Flats.

Also, Mom made me poached eggs. I love Mom’s poached eggs.

And I have another GODDAMN STYE IN MY FREAKING EYE, this time the left one, and it’s exactly what Dad gets so I’m using his eye drops. Stupid genetics. I realized, though, that since I’m not staring at a computer screen all day, and since I’m not trying to fall in love with anyone here (I know everyone — it’d be like dating a cousin) that I don’t really give a shit that my eye is pink and puffy. I just don’t want to contaminate Hollis. So I’m deliberately NOT rubbing my eye on him.

#

Dad’s Making Omelettes – Sunday, Oct.9/05 – 9:48 am MT
I went for a run yesterday, but there are HILLS here and 30% less oxygen in the air so I almost died. Not really. I got gaspy before I got tired, and then I kept coughing afterward. It’ll make me tough.

Today is our Thanksgiving Dinner!!!! This is my first Thanksgiving Dinner with my family in 6 or so years. My first year away, I whined. Second year, I whined. Third year, I bought a turkey and made a ridiculously lavish dinner for me & the Q. Now the Turkey Dinners have become sort of a tradition with my Victoria family — and I feel a very tiny bit guilty that I’m not there to host it, and make the turkey, and et cetera. Q threatened to buy a BBQ chicken from Safeway for him and Celeste. But whatever — I’m here with my family, including my NEW NEPHEW, and I get Mom’s Thanksgiving Dinner. I love Mom’s Thanksgiving Dinner.

Okay, the tea’s probably steeped by now — I’m going to eat Dad-made omelettes and drink a pot of tea and watch Coronation Street with Mom.

Also, my new bed here is the most comfortable bed I’ve ever slept on, INCLUDING the one at the B&B in Mont Tremblant!

#

Tea is Yummy – Monday, Oct.10/05 – 11:04 am
Mom has these two yellow cups with bees painted on them — she was going to give them to someone for Christmas YEARS ago but then decided to keep them. They are my favourite cups.

Dad made us turkey sandwiches for breakfast, and then I had some of Mom’s rhubarb strawberry danish stuff. I love eating food that I don’t have to make for myself. Not that I usually make food for myself — damn eating out . . .

So apparently there was an earthquake in Pakistan yesterday/last night and 15,000 people died. Q says our friend Dean is okay. Here’s some love for Dean & the people in Pakistan.

And also, I helped Mom set up her geneology stuff online! Mom’s updating this still, and learning lots of new tricks you can do via websites.

What I Love About Being Home
Aside from the expected Bonding With the Family stuff, I love:
– my new, amazing bed
– not having anything I HAVE to do — I can do Suduko when I feel like it, or run, or have a nap, or eat, or watch NASCAR with Dad, et cetera!
– Hollis, of course
– reading! I actually finished Dan Savage’s The Kid the other night. I haven’t finished a book in months. Mom helped me select two other books from our family library, including Bill Gaston’s new novel. Maybe I’ll even be able to read those before I go home to Victoria!

#

About to Be Kidnapped – Tuesday, Oct.11/05 – 9:47 am
I’m staying at Evy’s tonight. Mom warned me that they have no caffeinated tea in their house, so I should bring my own.

NaNoWriMo
I’ve signed up for the National Novel Writing Month competition and so I need to think of something worthy of 50,000 words to write about. And it can’t be a play. Which is how I’ve been thinking lately, in script, with esoteric stage directions and ambiguous choreography. One day I will write a novel/play called The Carpenter’s House. I grew up in carpenter-owned homes, and they were never ever finished (until we’d sold them). There’s a metaphor in there somewhere.

But I’m not ready for that story — I don’t even know what the metaphor is. So I have to think of something else.

BitterScripts
Meanwhile, I’ve had some ideas for where to take this Love Story Gone Awry. There are undeveloped themes of The Relationship Between Creativity And Two-Person Love — love as a motivating, inspirational, and therefore positive force (e.g. people in love write love poems), but also love as an interrupting, distracting, and therefore destructive force to creativity (e.g. people in love write crappy love poems). Cliches, etc. And since I’m “creating” a play about cliched love, there’s an entirely gorgeous metafictional/postmodern element to the whole thing. Make the audience an accomplice, and so on.

Anyhoo.

Deja Vu
I read Evy’s baby book yesterday. I’d never seen a newborn baby until Hollis, so I thought my newfound understanding of newborns would add an extra layer of coolness to Evy’s baby pictures. And there are all kinds of creepy (albeit expected) parallels — Mom writes about her first impressions of Evy-Just-Born as:
– it’s a girl!
– wow, she’s long!
– wow, what big feet!
Which is what my family’s first reponse to Hollis was (except the girl part). Genetics are so groovy. We’re all guessing what colour Hollis’s eyes will be, and his hair, and how tall, et cetera . . . I think dark blue eyes and blond hair, but everyone else expects Jared’s hazel eyes and dark brown hair. One of Hollis’s ears takes after Joe’s — it’s elflike and pointy. And he has eyebrows, which I am pleased about. The only taunting of Evy I did in our childhood was about her lack of visible eyebrows.

#

Maybe I Have Mono? – Wednesday, Oct.12/05 – 6:34 pm
I’ve been sleeping so much — and then yawning and wanting to sleep when I’m awake. Maybe I’m finally catching up on all the sleep I’ve missed via bizarre work hours?? My favourite place to nap here at Mom & Dad’s house is in front of the gas fireplace. If I’m cold, I put all the pillows in front of the fireplace and sleep there, and then I move to the couch when I’ve warmed up enough. Not that I’m ever cold here — it’s much colder in Victoria, with the humidity and the chilly Pacific Ocean wind.

I watched The Man in the Moon yesterday and today. Such a good movie . . . and Evy let me take her Dead Poets’ Society so I’ll watch that when I’m back in Victoria. I’m in the kitchen now because I wanted tea, but we’re out of milk — there’s only cream & half-and-half. How sad.

My days here have become nicely uneventful. Meanwhile, Q called me today and said that one of my bosses, Kate, “stopped working for the Ministry” on Friday. That’s shocking. Kate’s been the one to teach me everything this past year, so I hope I can fill in for her a bit and help keep our office standing. I already miss her . . . part of my job is/was to call her in the morning and chat about the news. I’ve watched two great people leave the Ministry this Fall — and Andrew already found and started his new job. It’s educational and inspiring to watch “established professionals” navigate the job market. They don’t seem to get scared . . . I’d be scared. I owe too much in student loans.

In Other News
Liv’s been going through all kinds of drama lately, or so I’ve heard via her website. We’ll have to go for sushi asap when I’m back, so she can catch me up on the details.

And that’s all I’ve got to say for now — it’s a sleepy existence these days. Occasionally I can’t remember what I’m “supposed” to do with myself when I’m not in Victoria, working, drinking martinis and perpetuating drama. So then I do a Suduko puzzle and have a nap.

#

Roast Beef Dinner Tonight – Thursday, Oct.13.05 – 3:33 pm
And Yorkshire puddings. YUM. Mom asked me what I wanted to eat while I’m here, and Yorkshire puddings are at the top of the list. We’re having Greek on Saturday for Evy’s Baby Shower.

Also, we went to Tim Horton’s and had “steeped tea” today. What a stupid marketing gimmick. As if I’d order non-steeped tea.

#

BUSY – Saturday, Oct.15/05 – 11:20 am
Evy’s baby shower is today!!!! So busy. I’m home tomorrow evening — I’ll write properly later.

#

Amazing Race – Monday, Oct.17/05 – 10:41 am
I’m watching an old Law & Order and just saw Kevin Smith in a bit speaking role! Neato.

Anyhoo, I’m home. YAY!!!! It was an epic return. My 3:25pm flight from Calgary was cancelled at the VERY last minute because some “anti-skid” part of the plane broke, and there were no replacements parts or planes, so WestJet booked us all on a Monday 10am flight and set us up with hotels & food. I wanted to get home, though, so I played Amazing Race and attempted the following backup strategies:

1. Call Air Canada on my cell phone to look into flights while walking over to their Customer Service counter. This plan fell through because I was on hold FOREVER and the Air Canada planes are on the other side of the Calgary airport. I realised the futility of this strategy just as #2 presented itself:

2. Grab a WestJet flight to Vancouver, then bus to the ferry and get home. This worked out perfectly. The bus/ferry cost $22, which was far better than the $300 Air Canada fare that Q eventually found for me. Also, even though I flew back, WestJet gave me credit for the cancelled flight. So I got a free flight in exchange for the inconvenience. Quinn picked me up at 10:30pm at Swartz Bay and drove me home.

Coming Home to Bunnies
Q always comes inside with me after I’ve been away, to be with me while I check that the rabbits are all still alive and healthy. We opened my apartment door and saw fur everywhere.

Apparently Seamus (aka “Houdini”) and Caramel managed to get past 2 solid barriers at some point this last week. Seamus must have battled with Peter, judging by the VAST AMOUNT OF RABBIT HAIR, and I think Seamus won because he and Caramel were hopping around the apartment like rebellious teenagers amid the wreckage from a house party. Peter was hiding under the couch. Poor guy. But upon inspection I didn’t find any cuts or wounds on any of them, and I kicked S&C back out onto their porch, and swept, and got Peter settled, and so now things are sort of back to normal. Except that Peter’s sulking/traumatized and there’s a ton of hair in my garbage can. Thank god none of the bunnies peed outside of their litterboxes — that would have been too much to take.

Labour Unrest in Victoria
There’s massive strike action today in town. A bunch of unions are holding a “day of protest” in support of the illegal teachers’ strike. Participating unions include the transit system. VERY inconvenient to most people I know.

Apparently there are pickets set up outside my office building, and there will be a rally at 1pm at the legislature.

What with all the drama I was tempted to go to work today, but then I realized that it’s raining outside and I have a pot of tea inside, so that would be foolish. I also have tomorrow off. Hopefully the chaos continues into Wednesday — I like excitement.

To make things even more exciting, government has instructed their unionized employees to NOT participate in the (illegal) protest during work hours, or else they will be fired. I’m not unionized, so this doesn’t affect me, but I bet there’s some wonderful drama playing out at work.

Tonight is Jann Arden’s concert at the Save On Memorial Arena. Q and I have tickets — I wonder if the strike action will affect that?

Fate and Destiny and Et Cetera
I thought that my cancelled flight was a sign that that my DEATH had been narrowly avoided, but Mom suggested that the cancelled flight was intended to put me on an alternate travel route, so as to accommodate some fateful experience.

So here are the “experiences” I had while traveling:

  1. met a woman named Diana who said that theatre needed another musical writer;
  2. ran into Crispin (from UVic) on the ferry, who is now working as an arbourist and owns a condo and wants to hook me up with someone named “Matt” who, according to Crispin, “is a RockStar”;
  3. had an amazing ham & swiss cheese sandwich at the Tim Horton’s in the Vancouver Airport;
  4. watched Family Guy on satellite TV during my WestJet flight to Vancouver from Calgary;
  5. overheard a teacher on the ferry who was talking on his cellphone, discussing his dilemma re: supporting illegal job action vs. being “ostracized” by his colleagues if he didn’t.

Interpret that as you will.

In Summary
I’m back home after a week of holding Hollis and sleeping in a proper bed and eating good food prepared for me by other people, specifically my Mom. I’m looking forward to getting back to the office on Wednesday, but will drink tea and rebond with the bunnies and sleep for the rest of my well-deserved vacation. Thank you for your patience with my sporadic & brief updates this past week. I’ll try to do something foolish and amusing to show my appreciation.

#

How to Be Insensitive – Monday, Oct.17/05 – 11:30 pm
The Jann Arden concert was super dooper. Also, I had a bucket of powder-buttered popcorn and 2 Mike’s Hard Lemonades for dinner. Welcome back to Victoria 🙂

#

Waking Up With Peter – Tuesday, Oct.18/05 – 10:58 am
I think he’s recovered from his ordeal. Peter’s been running laps from the kitchen to the porch door all morning. He’s currently taking a break under the wicker chair to chew his Special Collection of Branches. Meanwhile, the baby bunnies are back on their porch acclimatizing themselves to Victoria’s new winter weather: lots of huddling together for warmth. Yes, things are back to normal.

And Now
I think I’ll make a pot of tea and watch crapTV 🙂

#

Back to Work – Wednesday, Oct.19/05
I managed to wake up with my first alarm this morning (of four)! And now I get to sort through over 1,000 emails . . . I really really love my job. I’m glad to be back.

#

Lunchtime – Thursday, Oct.20/05
Hollis is three weeks old today!!! Happy Three Week Birthday, Hollis.

Something Gross
Wednesday & this morning I woke up with a blister in my mouth. Syphyllis? Stress? Wisdom teeth issues??? I dunno. Wednesday’s blister was just under my bottom lip; this morning it was somewhere by my left cheek. And something even more disgusting: I don’t have either blister anymore because I popped each one within the first few moments after discovery. With my teeth. And it didn’t taste gross, which I thought it would. (Blisters, pus, etc.) I bite my lips/mouth-skin when I get stressed, and last night my teeth were Super Sensitive due to wisdom teeth development so I tried to sleep with my tongue between my teeth, to alleviate the tooth-on-tooth pressure. Anyhoo. I don’t know if that explains it, but that’s all I know re: potentially contributing factors.

As For the Q
Aside from working his little fanny off and loving Celeste, Q’s been busy working his way up the ranks of a . . . long-standing community group. I promised I wouldn’t say too much about it. Ahem. So hopefully, if there is a Massive Conspiracy and this . . . club . . . is involved (according to rumours via our ex-neighbour Jason), then maybe I won’t die. And maybe I’ll give you folks the secret password for the spaceships too.

#

Starbucks With Jimmy – Friday, Oct.21/05 – 9:16 pm
I went out with a Navy guy named James this evening. He’s from Nova Scotia and drives a Jimmy (haha) and drank caramel apple ciders at Starbucks while I had tea.

He’s a pretty funny guy, what with the Atlantic humour and a naturally nice personality, and he’s 6’4″ (I approve). I wasn’t in love with him after 5 minutes, though, and I’m not sure why not. He’s not a SuperModel, but he’s a good-looking guy, and he’s really smart, and referred to Family Guy and Sesame Street . . . maybe I’m just tired.

Anyhoo, it was fun and I’ll probably meet up with him again.

Worried About Peter
His right eye is weepy-looking, and the hair around his eye is wet. I looked up eye problems on my rabbit site, and it suggests I get him to a vet in case it’s a bacterial infection. It seems like a lot of causes/treatments for bunny eye problems are similar to those I’ve encountered for myself recently, so I’m tempted to squirt some polysporin eyedrops into his eye and see what happens. I’m reluctant to use human drugs on a bunny, though. Poor guy. I hope he didn’t catch it from me, or get sick from the Great Bunny Escape & Battle of October 2005 . . .

Also, he’s been leaving tiny hard poops by the door to the porch. This suggests a dietary or stress issue. I wish bunnies could talk about their symptoms.

#

Swans With Jessie – Sunday, Oct.23/05 – 9:31 am
I called Crispin yesterday to remind him that he was going to hook me up, and he invited me (and Jessie) to Swans to watch some band he knew play and hang out with all the single straight guys he knows.

So Jessie & I got all prettied up and Swans apparently is where ALL the straight single guys in Victoria go every Saturday night, because they were all there. I’ve never seen so many. And quite a few of them were even attractive. And/or tall. So Jessie and I have found our new Saturday night activity . . . She was picked up* by some guy named Ryan who smiled a lot, and I made “meaningful eye contact” with a tall man, so we both left pleased.

* Jessie does NOT consider herself a single girl, despite her man living IN ANOTHER COUNTRY, so this was an amusing “pick up” rather than an actual one. And it doesn’t hurt for Jessie to know that she’s a hottie.

Peter Loves Me
I eventually did put polysporin eyedrops in Peter’s weepy eye on Friday. And the next day, it looked 1000-times better, except that the hair around his eye was a little crusty, so I washed it with a wet cloth. Today everything is back to normal. He had some white gunk in the corner of his eye, so I wiped it off and gave him another eyedrop.

For anyone who knows bunnies/Peter, THIS IS REMARKABLE. Bunnies do not like being touched this much, or having foreign liquids put in their eyes. Peter, however, has somehow developed a new trust in me. Maybe the polysporin eyedrops made him feel a lot better . . . whatever the motivation, he doesn’t mind me inspecting him or even treating him. He even still follows me around the apartment (which has become usual behaviour this summer).

I’m a Lamb
Spencer, Q, hopefully Jessie, and I are going Halloween costume hunting today. Jessie is going to be “the night sky” (Q and I invented this back in 1999), which involves wearing a skimpy black dress covered in glow-in-the-dark stars. I’m going to be a lamb this year, despite all the negative “sacrificial lamb” connotations. I think it’ll be groovy to have lamb ears.

Q&S have yet to confirm their personae for this year. Last year they went as Serena and Venus Williams, which was hilarious — both in short sporty skirts, make-up, black body paint, carrying tennis rackets — 6’5″ Q in a black wig, blonde Spencer with a ponytail. Anyhoo.

My Christmas Gift to Myself
Yesterday, while watching taped episodes of CSI, I realized that I wanted a universal remote. Despite being a grown-up with a grown-up job and grown-up backfat, I still have to either sit through commercials or get up to fast forward the tape.

So I bought one at Walmart. Yay for me!

Which Brings Me To a Sad & Confusing Experience
The family in line before us at Walmart couldn’t afford to buy the cheese they’d wanted.

I do not understand this. At first I felt sorry for them, because I love cheese and that would be a terrible thing to not be able to afford cheese, or anything else they wanted/needed. And then I was kind of angry, because I don’t understand how someone can’t afford to buy cheese.

The two big “head-starts” I got in life are my loving family and my smarts. I don’t see what other advantages I have over any other Canadian in the 21st century. So either these two “head-starts” are REALLY SIGNIFICANT, or else the discrepancy in “class”/financial well-being/whatever” is due to a group of people being too lazy, negative, unambitious, or weak to cross that gap.

I don’t believe that intellectual/physical/psychological disabilities are any excuse, because we DO have significant social supports in B.C. and Canada. I’ve used some of them.

And “inherited poverty” is not a viable argument. I put myself through school, just like lots of other people I know. If people can “start from scratch” and use student loans, grants, social programs, etc. to further themselves, then anyone is able to do so.

I want to find someone to talk to, like a parent in that Walmart family, who can explain to me why they are where they are, and make me feel empathy for them. Whenever I’ve tried this I still find some point in the story where they had a CHOICE, and chose to ignore an opportunity or support or something that would likely have changed their situation.

This is an open invitation for comments, if anyone thinks they can explain this to me. I promise not to mock you 🙂

#

2nd “Date” With Jimmy – Sunday, Oct.23/05 – 9:09 pm
Navy James and I went out to the airport this evening to drink tea/almond lattes and watch the airport people do their magic. Funfun, but still no love.

Also, I watched Dead Poets Society (sic) today. Excellent movie.

#

WestJet Loves Me – Monday, Oct.24/05 – 9:25 pm
WestJet has given me $139 in travel credit for my cancelled flight back on the 16/17th! EVEN THOUGH I still flew home via WestJet (and then Pacific Coast and then BC Ferries) . . . it’s to compensate for the inconvenience. What a bunch of superstars.

Speaking of SuperStars
I programmed my new universal remote and it was tricky but I did it. YAY!

And Levi Won Stuff
Theatre Guy Nathan, who has his FINGER on the PULSE of ARTS in CANADA, emailed me today to tell me that Levi MacDougall won two (or three??) awards at the Canadian Comedy Awards on Saturday. I wonder if he ever incorporated me into his routine . . .

#

Silence of the Lamb – Wednesday, Oct.26/05 – early a.m.
Hee hee. I didn’t write yesterday because I got home, dressed up like a lamb, and drank a bottle of faux vino while watching Batman Begins. It’s a good life.

Being a lamb for Halloween is tricky. First off, my costume constantly verges on Being Bunny-like, what with all the white, the ears, the tail . . . not that there’s anything wrong with that. It’s a challenge, though, to look lambish.

Also, there are quite a few negative connotations to lambs. For example: sacrifical lamb, Lamb-as-Jesus, lamb/sheep being molested by horny rednecks, innocent lamb . . . I’m tempted to add blood to the costume every so often. But NO, I want to be a LAMB and that is all. Dammit.

So, Heather, How Does One Become a Lamb?
Well, Mom sent me her white “pettipants,” which are squaredancer’s underwear, which look like silk boxers covered in lace. I bought white fishnet tights yesterday, and with a white tanktop (I think I’ll glue cotton balls to it) that = lamb body. I have black gloves and shoes for my hooves, and a ribbon for my throat that says “Dolly,” and with carefully-made ears and some quality makeup I think it’ll be A1. I’m not entirely sure what lamb faces & ears look like, so I need to do some more research. And do lambs wear bells around their necks? (Like cows?)

#

Being SuperBrave – Wednesday, Oct.26/05 – 10:07 pm
I went to Q’s after work to snuggle with Celeste & glue cotton balls onto a tank top. On the bus there was a 6-foot-something shaggy blonde guy with a red beard, reading Daniel Quinn (is that Safeway-crap, Mom? I can’t recall his books) and it was ridiculously crowded and I was laden down with craft supplies so I couldn’t be subtle. But then I thought:

HEATHER (internal monologue): “But I NEVER find sexy men in Victoria. And Q will only mock me if I do nothing about this rare find.”

So I wrote him a note. A witty, non-threatening note. With my phone number & email address. And then I held it in my little sweaty hand until my bus stop, and dropped it onto the page he was reading, and got the hell off that bus.

Very brave (in a cowardly way), and very scary. But if I don’t do scary things, I will never get what I want. So yep.

Past My Bedtime
I’m up late but that’s okay. I slept at Q’s from 4 until 7:30pm. The only memories I have of my afternoon are of Quinn trying to wake me up so we could have dinner and watch Born Into Brothels together. I resisted, and only rose in time for America’s Next Top Model.

#

Child of the Eighties – Thursday, Oct.27/05
Ohmigod. Most amazing story in today’s newspapers, and it’s in the National Post: The Muppets are hosting a new reality tv show, America’s Next Muppet. It’s supposed to air next spring.

Also, did you know that the Muppets have a website? And they’re making a Fraggle Rock movie?????

#

It’s Too Late For Me To Be Awake – Oct.27/05 – 11:46 pm
Jessie, Q, Spencer & I went to Atomic Vaudeville’s “Hellhouse” episode tonight. Camel Toe Improv finally made them laugh along with me — I’ve been waiting for it.

Also, had the freaky experience of learning that some AV folks know about & read my website.

So.

Yep.

Boy, Atomic Vaudeville sure is super 🙂

So, What Do You Do For A Day-Job?
VERSION 1, told to Chris, owner of The Patch on Yates:

HEATHER: “I write propaganda.”

VERSION 2, told to Jenn Stein, Pags server and Barbara Bush:

HEATHER: “I read newspapers for the government.”

To be honest, I’m constantly amazed that my crazy, wonderful job requires reading the comics page and writing “feel good” sound bites. I LOVE MY DAY JOB.

Anyhoo
Also, it’s been exactly 4 weeks since Hollis entered the world 🙂

I will always remember hearing the details of his birth, while drunk on Cosmopolisyns in the washroom of the Victoria Event Centre during an Atomic Vaudeville dance number.

#

EEK! – Friday, Oct.28/05
OHMIGOD. I got an email from the guy on the bus (Wednesday). Reads as follows:

Hello dear,
I don’t know if you remember me, but I’m Red Haired Boy (I object to being called a man) from the bus yesterday. I am just writing to tell you that when you dropped that note in my lap yesterday, I was quite taken aback. I certainly never expected something like that to happen.
So now I’m writing you because you expressed interest in me. I wish I could have spoken with you on the bus, but it was indeed too busy and love was entirely out of the question.
I was wondering if you’d have any interest in coming to a Hallowe’en party on Saturday night. A friend of mine who has rich parents and owns her house is having what should be a fairly decent excuse to drink. You mentioned you like drinking tea, but how about the occasional bottle of wine or shot of whisky? If you have plans already, that’s fine. I won’t weep for too long…
If you are in fact interested, feel free to write me back at this email address. Or you can reach me at [EDITED]. The phone number is kind of unsure because I try to avoid spending time at home as much as possible. But there should be someone here to answer, one of my roommates.
Anyway, I wish you a pleasant evening, and hope to hear from you before Saturday evening. And I suppose I should tell you my name; I’m Zac, and it’s nice to kind of meet you.
Take care

My Reaction
I hope he’s not a weirdo. (. . . irony . . .)

Also, I’m going to a party Saturday night already, so I can’t go. Even if I could, that’s an awkward way to meet up with a stranger.

HEATHER: Hi, I’m Heather.

ZAC: No, you’re a lamb.

HEATHER: No, I’m Heather. From the bus.

ZAC: Um, no, you have big lamb ears and you’re white and squishy and you’re wearing your Momma’s pettipants. Heather from the bus had a red coat and human ears.

HEATHER: Right. Okay. Nevermind.

So I suggested that we meet in a non-costumed setting so that he can see that I’m not a nut who routinely accosts strangers. (Ha ha, yes that’s really funny. You bastards.)

EEK 🙂

#

Oops – Friday, Oct.28/05 – 12:41 pm
So, Zac the Bus Guy somehow found my website (Hi, Zac!) so I’ll be polite and stop posting our personal correspondence on the web.

And he still wrote me, so that’s a positive sign.

#

Cleaning House – Saturday, Oct.29/05 – 10:49 am
Saturday mornings are my most productive. I wake up, feeling like I’ve slept in to 3pm or something, and then look at the clock and see that it’s 8:41 am. Already today I’ve cleaned the bunnies’ litterboxes, done dishes, put away the laundry I did at Q’s yesterday, and now I have banana muffins in the oven.

I thought that our Annual Halloween House Party was on Friday, so I expected to be comatose and sickly today. The party’s actually tonight, though, so I’ll get to wake up in a clean(ish) apartment tomorrow morning.

Sudoku Pride
I’ve become very good at solving Sudoku puzzles, to the point where I was getting cocky and considered moving on to a new hobby. And THEN I started in on the “Fiendish” section of one of my Sudoku books, and I feel like a beginner all over again. I love it. I feel like John Nash, solving Russian code.

NaNoWriMo
Starting Nov. 1 I will attempt to write 50,000 words in a month. I have no idea what to write about.

Oh and Also
I forgot to mention. After Atomic Vaudeville on Thursday I stayed for the “after party” and drank sour cocktails with lollipops. Jacob Richmond, the co-founder and director of AV, told me he and Britt had discovered my “blog” while googling “Atomic Vaudeville” and then he asked me if I wanted to contribute anything to a future AV show (writing-wise). But I can’t think of anything suitable.

JACOB: “Could we just take something from your blog, then?”

So be warned, y’all. You might end up on stage sometime soon.

Also, Britt reminded me that they are willing and able to host a read-though of my work. I just have to provide the scripts . . . I have no idea how to exploit this opportunity. On the Rag is finished and ready for workshopping, but there are long monologue bits and I think BitterScripts is more amusing.

I love having the opportunity, though. I will have to take advantage of it soon.

#

What Are You Doing With Your Extra Hour Today? – Sunday, Oct.30/05 – 10:06 am
I stayed over at Q’s last night so I’m NOT waking up in a clean(ish) home. There are costume bits everywhere, and the wreckage from our 3am McDonald’s drive-thru (via taxi) and a pizza box and empty bottles . . .

We went to the BEST Annual Halloween Party last night (Spencer, Q and I). Spencer & Q ended up going as Canadian Idol contestents. The best costume was one of the hosts (John??) — he was a shower. I took a picture, so I’ll post that when I get home tonight. And I got to see Rich & Cam again — Rich had a sexy Speedo with “AUS” on his ass, and a lifeguard’s shirt with “Mouth to mouth” on the front. Despite getting a little . . . cold . . . when we went outside for the fireworks, he was definitely hot. When I saw Cam, my first thought was The Royal Tennenbaums, but he was a seventies tennis star, with this crazy huge afro that eventually became too much for him to bear (it was itchy). I love how Cam is always smiling.

Chris(tina) premiered his drag show, and lots of people rubbed my tummy (soft cotton balls, remember?), and there were tequila shots and jello shots and tonnes of food and the fireworks show was hilarious, watching these costumed guys fumble around with explosives, match in one hand, drink in the other. A few of the fireworks went haywire — one ricoched off the parked minivan in front of the house and made us run. One woman had a hole burned into the fishnets by a firecracker spark. Craziness.

Eventually I got tired, of course, so I managed to convince Q and a Very Drunk Spencer that we all wanted McDonalds. The taxi companies had 30 minute to hour-long waits if you called, so we started walking down Gorge Road and managed to catch a cab as it dropped off a customer. (Same strategy as last year, actually.)

Also, I Went Out With a Straight Boy
Zac and I met up yesterday afternoon and he is awesome. He’s smart and funny and we went for a long walk along the Songhees after chugging tea (he drinks tea and spurns coffee! Yay!) and it was the best thing ever, getting to talk to someone that I have NEVER before talked to. When you start off knowing nothing about someone, there are infinite things to find out. So now I know his dad is/was in the military, and Zac moved cities every five years, and his parents split up when he was 11, and now he has a younger brother & sister, and a half-brother who’s 3, and four step-sisters. Also, he’s in school to be a nurse, and apparently nurses get to be caring & empathetic while doctors just have to know EVERYTHING FACTUAL and have crappy social skills. Zac likes the caring stuff. I didn’t point out that he’d have to wipe bums or do other icky things working in the health sector.

Zac was raised Catholic in Ontario, but he’s diverged from a lot of those conservative beliefs (e.g. he supports gay marriage). His hot button was abortion, which he says he’s never heard a decent argument for. I’ll have to get him and Q to face off over that one. It’d be amusing to watch.

Anyhoo, I had a great time and I really like him, which is a relief since he could easily have been crazy or stupid or married since I “picked him up” based solely on my attraction to him and that he was reading a book.

Also, we made a deal that Zac at least has to PRETEND that he doesn’t read my website. That way I won’t worry about repeating my ever-amusing anecdotes, or him knowing things I haven’t told him, et cetera.

Also, his birthday is April 29.

(I’m a fricking encyclopedia!)

#

 

Rainy Halloween – Monday, Oct.31/05 – 6:06 pm
It’s only 6pm and it’s dark out there. It feels like 10pm or later. I am suddenly glad that my work day ends at 2/3pm, when it still looks like daytime.

I’m sleepy but I’m hesitant to nap because my body might think it’s bedtime, due to the darkness, and then I’ll waste my whole night. Instead of spending it on quality activities, like watching Medium and CSI: Miami . . .

An Amusing Bunny Anecdote
This morning Peter was following me around while I was getting ready, putting laundry away, etc. and I thought he wanted a snuggle so I stood still and let him climb onto my feet. But actually he wanted to suck on and undo the ribbon bows on my slippers.

Peter loves sucking on ribbons and undoing bows with his little bunny teeth . . .